Tips for Planning Family Vacations with Teens & Tweens

March 15th, 2010 · Comments Off

Family vacations with teenagers can be the best of times or the worst of times, depending upon their mood, from what I have heard from my friends with teens. Or the worst of times for fashion, based on my teenage vacation photos skiing and at the beach. What’s up with my teenage hair?

Although your teen may not want to be seen with you anymore at the local mall … or the pizza place … or outside the middle or high school, there are still ways to promote family bonding through travel. I’m taking notes from my friends because we are going to be in this situation in a few years and I feel like I need all of that time to prepare.

My friend Marcia did a little research on traveling with teens and here’s what she found out and added from her own experience: Just keep in mind the 4T’s: Talk, Time, Temperament and Team Up.

Talk

First, talk to your teen about what is important to them on a vacation. Do they want a place with constant activities or nothing planned at all? Do they want access to a teen room with video games or do they want to go horseback riding on the beach? Most teens will be happy in a place that has options for them and provides them with some freedom to do things on their own. Many resorts and any family cruise ship will have a teen lounge area which provides them with a cool place to hang out away from the family. It provides you with a little downtime and you know they are in a safe environment.

This talk is a great way to bond during family mealtime and let your kids know that their opinion matters. Hopefully, they’ll reciprocate the feeling and on top of that, clear the table. We can dream, can’t we?

Time

Time your travel, if possible, to include a few extra days for unexpected journeys. If you go to Florida , for example, and discover that your teenage daughter absolutely loves snorkeling, be flexible and add another stop. Once you find what they like to do or what keeps them engaged, try to fit in more of it. Not to say the whole trip should revolved around your teen. It just makes it a lot easier for everyone to be happy if they are. Although I still say that it’s important to keep Mama happy … always.

You also want to plan on some downtime for them. What do we mean by downtime on a vacation? For a teen, downtime may be a break from family time. Relax on the rules about texting or calling friends. Maybe set some boundaries, such as no texting while at restaurants or while doing family activities but allow it while on the beach for a limited time. Teens may want to do even more texting on vacation (is that possible?) as their friends are not right beside them. So be prepared for it, and try to deal with it casually. Getting into a fight about the cell phone isn’t going to make anyone’s vacation any better. Limit the usage, but give some freedom as well.

Let them explore something on their own, if they want to, or go off with a new friend they made on the trip. Or let them sign up for an activity that only they want to do. As long as you feel it is a safe environment, let them get some of their own experiences and then enjoy hearing about it at dinner when you get back together.

Temperament

Keep in mind your teen’s style, interests and hobbies when planning your trip. If your son has to be pulled out of bed anytime before 11 a.m., don’t pick a vacation where everyone is up and moving at 6 a.m. If your daughter loves horses, try a dude ranch. If you select activities and locations that suit your child’s temperament, you have already halved the number of battles.

If you are feeling very generous, bend the rules a little. Let your teen stay up late or sleep in until 2 p.m. for a few days. Your “Cool Mom” points go up fast after that. (At least for a few days.)

Team Up
You may want to plan your vacation to go with some of your extended family. If you have sisters and brothers with kids about the same age, it might be fun to plan your vacations together so the teen cousins can hang out, have fun, and bond more with their extended family. While a “group” vacation can be a little harder to organize, once you are on the trip it’s fun to share the adventure with people you love, and share the work – cooking in the condo, taking the kids on activities, or taking the family photos.

I got mixed reviews on the idea of letting one of your teen’s friends come along on a family vacation. I remember when I was a teen and my parents let me bring a friend on vacation and I loved it! However, it does take the focus away from bonding just with the family.

From both a family time and expense standpoint, my view would be to allow a friend to come on a weekend trip but for a longer family vacation, that time should be family only.

What do you think? Any other advice for our readers (and me) on traveling with teens?